What struck me reading this wasn’t just the research… it was the clarity in naming what so many mothers already feel in their bodies long before they have language for it.
Modern motherhood asks one woman to do the work of an entire village, then pathologizes her when she breaks under the weight of an impossible structure.
Your exploration of mismatch exposes the truth many of us live: the mother is not failing. The environment is.
Very cool interview and very interesting perspective on postpartum anxiety and depression! I was born in West Africa, and looking back, I can see how profoundly protective the community structure was for new mothers, compared to the US, for example. There was no expectation that a mother would care for a newborn alone. Community naturally “chipped in” (aunties who came to stay for weeks etc...). Mothers were surrounded, supported, and never isolated which is a massive protective factor against depression.
I can imagine. My child was born in California, very different experience.
I’m from the Ivory Coast. Of baoule ethnicity, part of the Akan people. It has such a rich social structure, and the role of women is especially strong in family life and community decision-making.
Also, congrats on the new family member, Gurjot! (Something tells me Hunter Gatherers do not say congrats… too individualistic!) How fortunate to have the fruits of Elena’s great work during this time. Even if we can’t change society, knowledge and awareness can change our perception of our capabilities (/lack thereof), which can be huge in those vulnerable times. 🥺
Many of the struggles we face in modern life are not personal failures but the side effects of an ancient mechanism running in the wrong environment. Yet real transformation begins not with knowing this, but with actively noticing it. Awareness becomes the moment we step outside our automatic programming and observe the mechanism at work.
When anxiety rises, we stop asking “What’s wrong with me?” and instead ask, “Why is this ancient threat system firing?” When we lose control around food, we see the evolutionary logic behind craving high-calorie fuel. When loneliness hits, we recognize it as the biological pain of being separated from the tribe our nervous system evolved to depend on.
Observation does not immediately change the reaction—but it creates space. And that space is the beginning of freedom. What we observe is no longer “me”; it is a circuit running its old code.
From an evolutionary perspective, modern life’s pressure is not surprising. What is surprising is how much our inner world expands the moment we begin to notice this mismatch. The person who understands the mechanism is no longer dragged by it. Observation becomes the first act of rewriting the script.
This is why awareness isn’t a small insight—it is the doorway to a conscious life.
What stands out to me here is how often modern motherhood gets framed as an individual coping problem instead of a structural mismatch.
So many mothers are trying to solve with mindset, optimization, or self-discipline what is actually a problem of missing alloparenting, isolation, and chronic overload.
When the environment is this misaligned with human caregiving needs, of course women end up feeling both overstimulated and under-supported.
The system asking one nervous system to do the work of a village sets us up for failure.
What struck me reading this wasn’t just the research… it was the clarity in naming what so many mothers already feel in their bodies long before they have language for it.
Modern motherhood asks one woman to do the work of an entire village, then pathologizes her when she breaks under the weight of an impossible structure.
Your exploration of mismatch exposes the truth many of us live: the mother is not failing. The environment is.
It’s important work. And it’s overdue.
yep :)
This!! 🙌🏼🙌🏼
Very cool interview and very interesting perspective on postpartum anxiety and depression! I was born in West Africa, and looking back, I can see how profoundly protective the community structure was for new mothers, compared to the US, for example. There was no expectation that a mother would care for a newborn alone. Community naturally “chipped in” (aunties who came to stay for weeks etc...). Mothers were surrounded, supported, and never isolated which is a massive protective factor against depression.
Where in West Africa? I lived in Burkina Faso for a year. Motherhood there was a very different experience.
I can imagine. My child was born in California, very different experience.
I’m from the Ivory Coast. Of baoule ethnicity, part of the Akan people. It has such a rich social structure, and the role of women is especially strong in family life and community decision-making.
I love this interview! It’s a perfect overview to send to my not-yet-Elena-evangelized mother friends. 🤓 thank you, Gurjot and Elena!
Thank you Jane ❤️ I think I can safely say you were my first and biggest fan!
Gotta give *some* credit to those tech bros for the algorithm feeding you directly to me! 🤌🏼
Screenshotting this to show the haters when you make the BIG time! 🤣 🥰
Also, congrats on the new family member, Gurjot! (Something tells me Hunter Gatherers do not say congrats… too individualistic!) How fortunate to have the fruits of Elena’s great work during this time. Even if we can’t change society, knowledge and awareness can change our perception of our capabilities (/lack thereof), which can be huge in those vulnerable times. 🥺
many good insights in here
Many of the struggles we face in modern life are not personal failures but the side effects of an ancient mechanism running in the wrong environment. Yet real transformation begins not with knowing this, but with actively noticing it. Awareness becomes the moment we step outside our automatic programming and observe the mechanism at work.
When anxiety rises, we stop asking “What’s wrong with me?” and instead ask, “Why is this ancient threat system firing?” When we lose control around food, we see the evolutionary logic behind craving high-calorie fuel. When loneliness hits, we recognize it as the biological pain of being separated from the tribe our nervous system evolved to depend on.
Observation does not immediately change the reaction—but it creates space. And that space is the beginning of freedom. What we observe is no longer “me”; it is a circuit running its old code.
From an evolutionary perspective, modern life’s pressure is not surprising. What is surprising is how much our inner world expands the moment we begin to notice this mismatch. The person who understands the mechanism is no longer dragged by it. Observation becomes the first act of rewriting the script.
This is why awareness isn’t a small insight—it is the doorway to a conscious life.
What stands out to me here is how often modern motherhood gets framed as an individual coping problem instead of a structural mismatch.
So many mothers are trying to solve with mindset, optimization, or self-discipline what is actually a problem of missing alloparenting, isolation, and chronic overload.
When the environment is this misaligned with human caregiving needs, of course women end up feeling both overstimulated and under-supported.
The system asking one nervous system to do the work of a village sets us up for failure.